"The Near Departed" is a short short story, written by legendary horror and science-fiction writer Richard Matheson. The story is three pages long, and I found it collected along with perhaps his most famous work, "I Am Legend".

The story has two characters: a "plain looking man" who visits a mortician, and mournfully requests mortuary service for his wife, imploring for the best possible treatment, no expenses paid. The mortician agrees, the man walks out, and because this is a story by Richard Matheson, one of The Twilight Zone's most frequent writers, we get a twist at the end. Six words change the entire story.

I was of course waiting for a twist, but thought it would be a different one than what finally happened. But this story brings up a good question: just how short can horror be? Horror depends on setting up suspense, on giving a sense of the eerie or the unusual, and then delivering on that promise. This story does do that, through its

Informal substitue for anyway, however, or anyhow. This adverb is a transitional word that signals to one's audience that one is getting back on track after chasing rabbits, returning to the main point being made or as a conversational filler when one is about to change subjects. Also spelled anyhoo.

Example quotes:

"'Anywho, I have shit to fuck up, a world to set on fire, and payback that can’t wait much longer,' I laughed as I leaned over, kissing

1. What is your name?

My friends call me Jeff. npecom is an old biz handle, which is an acronym for "New Paradigm Enterprises - Communication Division"

2. Tell us something about you, your background, and what you've been up to lately?

I've worn various hats, but then finally retired from 28+ years as a "Clean Water Technician"

3. How did you discover Everything, and how did you become a noder?

I, quite literally, typed the word "everything"